Bald!

i woke up this morning and realized that my scalp hasn't seen the sun in a while...





so i bic-ed it.




mmmmm... smooooth.

God Provides Dos...

earlier this week, i was genuinely worried whether i was going to both be able to pay rent and eat. then, a couple days ago i went into my room after work and discovered a whole foods gift certificate with simply


'to: jev;


from: $75;


happy easter' on it.



it didn't say who it was from, so i can't thank them directly...






so instead, i thank God for them.





i can both eat and pay rent now.










whoever you are, the blessing you provided me is beyond my thanks in words... and i wish you could see the joyous twinkling of my computer screen in the tear that fell onto my mouse-trackpad as i wrote this.

God Provides...

so, as some of you know, i just began a job with home depot, peddling rakes and grass seed. only, i have been scheduled for my first day of work on the 30th of this month... which also happens to correspond with the day i run out of money (my plan was to be working for the fire service by now, so i didn't bother saving any money past now, ya know, as a 'just-in-case' fund.)

needless to say, at current rate of consumption, i will officially be penniless the same day i begin work...



sketchy.



and one thing i don't have is money to burn... and that's what was so cool about this evening at church.



just before the service ended, the ushers started sending around the offering baskets. i took out my spidey wallet, opened the crackly velcro fastener, and found a receipt from chipotle and a twenty dollar bill... my last twenty dollar bill. and, as seemingly fortunate as it is (or rather unfortunate, it seems), i can always hear when God tells me something, and in this case, i could distinctly hear Him telling me to chuck the twenty bucks into the offering.

usually, i am ashamed to say, i would outrightly deny His call, and keep the money to pay for food, but tonight, His droning call finally got to me.

as i readied the twenty for deposit, i remember saying something to the effect of 'God, this is my last twenty, and, i was totally planning on eating this week... so if you could bless me with a away to get a couple bucks, that'd be awesome... thanks God.'

then, oddly enough, when it was time for the plate to come to our row, for one reason or another, we got completely skipped... our row got totally passed by!

i looked back down at the twenty in my hand and smiled...




'here's twenty bucks jev.'
just like that! presto! twenty bucks just appeared in my hand!



thanks God.




what's funny is that now instead of looking at the money like it was mine to start with, i look at it as God's to start with.


i came and left with the same twenty, only somehow during the process, i gave 20 bucks and gained 20 bucks.

...

actually, the more i think about it, the more i realize it was MY nose, not God's, i wanted to punch the whole time... i think i was originally so mad at God because i thought he 'wronged' me... now i realize the fact of the matter is that instead of me being wronged, it was me being wrong...






i need to tell God that i take back those things i said to him a couple days ago...






it's a good thing God's got a lot of grace... otherwise he would'a kicked my ass long ago.

!

sometimes i wanna punch God in the nose. like tonight. i don't wanna talk about it. i just wanna be pissed for a while. but holy crap, i swear... somtimes... i just... it's tough to type with clenched fists, so i'm gonna stop writing...






and punch a wall.

Yeah!

you are looking at the newest member of the home and garden department at home depot on woodmen and academy in colorado springs! you know who to call if you need a plant! i only hope that i can affect a positive change in this 'man' as a new employee. i will try to get you frequent updates on if and wether HD is any more responsible than it's wal-competitor.





i think i will start by coming into work with a garbage bag diaper, as tim suggested... that'll really stick it to the man!

Stick it to the man!

i was sprawl-mart today to pic up a few items: tuna (albacore, of course), salsa (black bean and corn), t-shirts (fruit of the loom only), and bullets (9mm luger)... ya know, the regular. as i was walking outside back to my car with my just purchased bountiful booty of eating, wearing, and shooting goodness, i saw two just post-pubescent teens filling the back of thier chevy nova with bags of firewood, ice cream, and 3.2 beer.

i gave 'em the obligatory polite head nod and walked off without much of thought.

not thirty seconds later i heard one of them yell at the top of his voice, 'wal-mart is a conspiracy!' as he threw a defiant fist into the air.

i think what he was getting at was that he thought wal-mart was an evil corporation focused on sticking it to the little guy, only, he did say 'conspiracy,' so for all i know he actually did mean that sam walton was anti-christ or that he was an alien or something, i don't know, i'm not him... my assumption is that he doesn't really know what conspiracy means, but whatever.

the point however, is that at first i thought to myself 'arg, what a bunch of attention seeking, skater-posers looking to get a laugh or at least a look from a passer by... weak.'

but then, as i saw them drive the entire length of the front walk of wal-mark while laying on the horn, flicking off the store and cussing, i began thinking that at least they were man enough to not only admit that wal-mart had 'em by the balls, but it pissed 'em off, and they don't care who knows...





it was then that i realized that wal-mart had me by the balls too, but i'm so anesthetized and dazed by thier dirt-cheap prices that i don't even think about it, let alone do something about it...




so, with that said, i'm going to stop shopping at wal-mart for the next month and see how it goes...





who's with me?

Dear Lovelies...

to all my wonderful internet-nerd buddies: MY STUPID INTERNET IS BROKEN AND SEEMS TO BE UNFIXABLE! CURSES UPON THIS PLANET FOR NOT HAVING WORLD WIDE WIFI INTERNET! which, coincidentally, is what i am on right now at a friend's house. i do apologize to all those out there who actually do read my blog, i'm sorry i have been missing out on filling you all in on all the exciting things happening right now, like my face puffing up to sloth-like (ya know, the crazy looking guy from the goonies... 'hey you guuuys!'... you know what i'm saying) proportions because of an severe allergic reaction to the hair bleach i used a couple days ago and cycling madness and the crazy texan tourist!

anyway, i don't have time to relate all this crazyness at this time, but i promise it will be as soon as possible!

i love you all! and i hope to see you online soon!






p.s. moon, my password is 'mancrushonbradpitt'