New Lighter!
check out my new lighter! i know i don't smoke, but you never know when one could come in handy...
i mean, lighters are like, totally McGuiver style. just 'cuz i don't have a use for it right NOW, doesn't mean i won't need it.
like, what if i need to burn my way out of a train car that has been sealed with me and some chick named Natasha in it who is a Russian computer programer because my arch nemesis locked us in and rigged it with explosives that are set to go off in 'six' minutes, which i know is really three minutes becasue previously i set a remote mine for what should have been six minutes but had to change to three minutes because i thought the Cossacks shot my co-agent double O six who now is my arch-enemy in the head but he really wasn't dead and then i had to shoot my way out...
ya know, what if that happens...
also, i didn't mention the coolest part...
IT'S FREAKIN' HUGE!
WHAT THE CRAP! LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THIS THING!
ITS CRAZY!
i mean, lighters are like, totally McGuiver style. just 'cuz i don't have a use for it right NOW, doesn't mean i won't need it.
like, what if i need to burn my way out of a train car that has been sealed with me and some chick named Natasha in it who is a Russian computer programer because my arch nemesis locked us in and rigged it with explosives that are set to go off in 'six' minutes, which i know is really three minutes becasue previously i set a remote mine for what should have been six minutes but had to change to three minutes because i thought the Cossacks shot my co-agent double O six who now is my arch-enemy in the head but he really wasn't dead and then i had to shoot my way out...
ya know, what if that happens...
also, i didn't mention the coolest part...
IT'S FREAKIN' HUGE!
WHAT THE CRAP! LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THIS THING!
ITS CRAZY!
posted by Lord Milton Pepperbottom III at 4:16 PM
9 Comments:
I agree, that is the funniest blog I too have ever read. Well done!
Anonymously,
Will
I saw one of those lighters in Checker Auto...I thought to my self "Self, Only a man who is insecure of his manness would by a lighter like that." Unfortunately I did not have enough cash to get the brake pads and the lighter.
Whoa, that's ginormous!!
Which, incidentally, is something jev hears quite often.
It's just too bad it isn't battery powered...
-m00n-
was it that jock-strap that was sitting on top of it that was battery powered? if so, how do i get one?
Haha, I wish! We should totally take that idea to the patent office, my friend - that's sheer brilliance! We'd need to think of a clever name for our battery powered athletic supporter, though...
Electrocup?
Vibrojock?
I'm open to suggestions...
-m00n-
possibly simply the 'shocker'? that way we could market it to a couple different markets... if ya know what i mean...
you make me laugh my friend!!
when are you coming to Norway?
ole!!! i would love to norway! im even going to be close in maybe a couple months! well, closer at least. i might be going to china for a year! crazy!
also, chinese people hate jev. or so ive heard.
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