Zingers...

so, i have been being rather nice to my body as of late; no sugars, no fatty carbs, no nitrates, no phosphates, lots of exercise, fresh fruit and vegies, etc... you get the idea. and i figure, once in a while, after living so fastidious, you just gotta do something to your body just to remind it who's in control. ya know, nothing overboard... maybe a double quarter pounder, a couple grilled stuffed burritos, a few pints of the fattiest ben and jerry's you can find, ya know, something on that order.


today i felt like my poison of choice would be 'zingers,' which are, quite possibly, the perfect food.


they have the nuclear resistance of twinkies, the fat content of della reese and enough sugar to rot the tusks off a bull elephant. in short, they're basically twinkies dusted to the eyeballs, and they're real good.


i was at sprawl-mart (thanks lil) purchasing more razor blades (venus3's, they shave better than the mach3's, lucky girls) as well as a luffa (i'm not ashamed) and i must have sensed that zingers were near... you can always tell they're not far when your molars go instinctually numb.


turns out, after searching for about 20 minutes, sprawl-mart doesn't actually carry zingers. of course, they do carry nascar hats with the number 21 on them, $8.88 fake wedding rings and the second season of 'northern exposure,' (which i would love to own) but nope! sorry! no stinkin' zingers.


i guess i'm just gonna have to piss my body off another way... or just keep eating well... but where's the fun in that?



if any of you have any awesome ideas (tacos filled with marshmallow goop, brocoli with cheese (sans the brocoli and add butter, bacon, and fries, ya know, whatever)) please let me know, i'm always in the market for ways to get my bowels to hate me!