Life from brokenness.

when i was a child, my neighboors housed a hulking tree in thier back yard that i used to climb after school. i named it frank. frank because that was the name of the biggest kid in my class. i used to peer at the back of his huge, bulbous head during story time and wonder whether he had two regular size brains or one large one. i never came to a stark conclusion. this tree was as mammoth in a vertical way as frank's head was mammoth in a gravitational pull way.

one evening, the tree was struck with lightening, and toppled downward to a ground i'm sure its branches hasn't felt for decades. frank, my favorite tree, was not in good shape.

i saw frank many years later. the trunk was badly split and bent, but the growth of recent years was sturdy and straight. bark had grown over much of the once-exposed heartwood, leaving the trunk misshapen but well protected. how is it, i wondered, that a tree could grow to strength and maturity around such a crippling injury?

i knew a kid born in the inner city. his self concept was badly scarred from parental neglect, racism, crappy teachers, and years of failure. his values were deformed by the survival ethic of the street and by the hurt that had become a burning core of anger... I saw new growth form a protective layer over his open wounds and broken deams. a strong new character developed, marked with unique sensitivities and perceptions. how is it, i wondered, that a kid can grow up to strength and maturity around such deforming childhood experiences?

i once new a christian in the mission field whos life was marred by sin and whose character was bent toward deceitfulness. he struggled with rebellion against authority. his need for glorifying the self intertwined with his earnest efforts to serve. he was plagued with insecurities. spiritual and emotional growth, as well as years of socialization, largely concealed his kinks and twists at his core. yet he was still a potent healer of others. how is it, i wondered, that God could use him?

i have seen God take the broken, deformed things of this world, bless them with new life and sanctify them for his special purpose. from a broken tree, God provides shade in the summer. from a deeply scarred kid, God forms a young man of unusual compassion and understanding, a model of hope to the disheartened inner city. from the twisted personality of a misled missionary, God shapes a healer of emotional pain and uses a rebellios nature for creative purposes. from young-punk, nerd-to-the-bone, checkered past, broken vessel 24 year old who writes blogs no one reads in his spare time, God creates a man who, even though it's not much, still tries his best to make this world a Christ-centered, loving one.

i am reassured to know that the straightness of my grain is not a precondition of usefulness to God. and i am humbled to see that out of the twistedness of my wounds, he designs for me a special purpose and place of service.

remember, and take courage, for it is through our brokenness, not our fixedness, that God chooses to work.